[jadore]

School:

A place where Papa Pays and Son Plays.





Life Insurance:

A contract that keeps you poor all your life so that you can die Rich.





Nurse:

A person who works up to give you sleeping pills.





Affairs:

Something like the game of Cricket where one-day internationals are more popular than a five day test match.





Marriage:

It's an agreement in which a man loses his bachelor degree and a woman gains her masters.





Divorce:

Future tense of Marriage.





Tears:

The hydraulic force by which masculine willpower is defeated by feminine waterpower.





Lecture:

An art of transferring information from the notes of the Lecturer to the notes of the students without passing through "the minds of either"





Conference:

The confusion of one man multiplied by the number present.





Compromise:

The art of dividing a cake in such a way that everybody believes he got the biggest piece.





Dictionary:

A place where success comes before work.





Conference Room:

A place where everybody talks, nobody listens and everybody disagrees later on.





Classic:

Books, which people praise, but do not read.





Smile:

A curve that can set a lot of things straight.





Office:

A place where you can relax after your strenuous home life.





Yawn:

The only time some married men ever get to open their mouth.





Etc.:

A sign to make others believe that you know more than you actually do.




Committee:

Individuals who can do nothing individually and sit to decide that nothing can be done together.





Experience:

The name men give to their mistakes.





Atom Bomb:

An invention to end all inventions.





Philosopher:

A fool who torments himself during life, to be spoken of when dead.





Diplomat:

A person who tells you to go to hell in such a way that you actually look forward to the trip.





Opportunist:

A person who starts taking bath if he accidentally falls into a river.





Optimist:

A person who while falling from Eiffel tower says in midway "See I am not injured yet."





Miser:

A person who lives poor so that he can die rich.





Father:

A banker provided by nature.





Criminal:

A guy no different from the rest....except that he got caught.





Boss:

Someone who is early when you are late and late when you are early.





Politician:

One who shakes your hand before elections and your Confidence after.





Doctor:

A person who kills your ills by pills, and kills you by bills.

 

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