[mobasherzia]

DIARY OF TWO RAIN SUFFERERS IN THE YEAR GONE BY DOWN SOUTH

September 12, 2009

Wishing y’all a Very Berry Berry monsoon season. May the coming months and years bring You Much Joy and Health and Wealth and Happiness.

We have had a lot to be thankful and unthankful for this past year. We kept a meticulous log of our ordeals in the form of a “DIARY OF TWO RAIN SUFFERERS IN THE YEAR GONE BY” and here it is ….

DAY One @ 7:AM – It started to rain athe beginning of the month! First rain at the end of the summer. Rosemary an I took our diet pepsis and sat for hours sitting bt the window watching the niagras of water drift down from heaven. It looked like a GRANDMA MOSES’ painting we felt like newly weds again. We love the rain!

DAY 2 @ 5:00 AM - We woke to a beautiful musical sheet of sideways rain covering every inch of landscape on this day! What a fantastic sight! Can there be a lovely place in the Whole Wide World? Moving here was the best idea Rosemary and I made. Saw rivers and creeks rise and crest and then overflow. For the first time we felt like boyfriend and girlfriend again. Moe did sandbag both our sidewalk and the sidewalks. That afternoon the PUD rainplow came along and pushed more water up and over the driveway and sidewalk. So Moe got to sandbag again. What a perfect life!

DAY 3 @Noon - The sun has melted all our lovely rain at the official start of summer! Such a disappointment. Our next door neighbor Stan tells us not to worry, we’ll definitely have a dry fall. No rain in the fall would be awful ! But our other neighbor Mac says we’ll never have so much rain by the end of fall that we’ll never want to see rain again. Mac is such a nice man. We are so glad that he’s our distant neighbor.

DAY 4 @ 9:00 AM - Rain and more lovely rain on these holy days. All days. Glory Glory Hallelujah. Amazing Grace. 8” since last night. The creeks and rivers are rising again. Observing it crest and flow over to within a few feet of our deck makes everything sparkle so. The wind took our breath away, But we warmed up by sandbagging the sidewalks and the driveway. The PUD truck came back this afternoon and messed up our sandbags. We didn’t realize we would have to do quite this much sandbagging, But Moe will certainly get back in shape this way. I only wish he wouldn’t huff and puff so.

DAY % @ 4:00PM - 20 inches for this day and it is pouring down already! Sold our van and bought a 4x4 blazer. Bought rain tires for Rosemary’s car. Rosemary wants a wood stove in case the electricity goes out. I think it is silly. We aren’t in the Amazon Rain forest, for crying out loud.

DAY 6 @ 4:00 pm - A ferocious storm this morning at the official start of summer. Moe fell on his derriere while positioning sandbags around the sidewalks and driveway.

DAY 7 @ 11:OO am - Still pouring down golden rain on this holy day! Roads are too squishy to go anywhere. Electricity was off for five hours. I had to pile the blankets around the window sills to keep the rain from getting in. Nothing to do but stare at Rosemary and try not to irritate her. Guess I should brought her a wood stove, but won’t admit to her. God I hate it when she’s right. I can’t believe I’m perspiring to death in own living room.

Day 8 @ 5:00 AM - Electricity is back on this holiest of holy days. But had the another 14” of the same ‘ol same ‘ol stuff last night. More sandbagging. Took all morning and all evening. That doggone PUD rainplow came by twice. Moe tried to find another neighbor to help him sandbag, but they said they’re too busy playing waterpolo. We think they’re lying. Called the only hardware store around to see about buying more sandbags and they said they’re out. Mac says we have to sandbag our the PUD man will have to do it and bill us. We think he’s lying.

DAY 9 @ 7:00 PM - 13 inches of liquid sunshine. Blessed us this blessed official start of summer. Mac was right about a dry spring because it is so wet and soggy that miniature water springs are oozing out of just about everywhere. Took Moe 45 minutes to get all dressed up in his snorkeling outfit to out to sandbag and then he had to go to the bathroom again! By the time he got undressed, went to the bathroom and dressed again he was too tired to sandbag. Tried to hire Mac for the rest of the year since has a self-propelled and gas –powered gizmo to sandbag, but he says he’s too busy. We think he’s lying.

DAY 10 @ Who Cares - Only two inches of rain on this holiest of holy days. What a bummer. Rosemary wanted me to start decorating for the holiest of holy days this morning. What is she … nutty??? Why didn’t she tell me me do it a month ago? She says she did. I think she’s lying.


Who Gives a Damn - 6” of rain packed so hard by winds on this fine holiest of holy days! I broke my wheelbarrow. Thought I was having a heart attack. I know the PUD rainplow hides around the corner and waits for me to finish sandbagging and then he comes down the street at 100 mile an hour and throwing rainwater all over again where I just have been. Tonight Rosemary wanted us to have a quite lochs and bagel Dinner, but I was busy watching out for that demonic rain man.


Happy of the Happiest Holy Days @!=3D@x@x!x1 - 20” mo’ of inches of slough rained in. The idea of sandbagging makes our blood boil. God we love the rain so!
Why did we move here? It was all her idea. She is really getting on my nerves. The creeks and rivers are rising again. Still rained in. Rosemary is driving me crazy!!! 10 more inches of Mac says I have to go up to
the roof to clean out the leaves and gutters or it could cave in. That’s the silliest thing I have ever heard. How dumb does she think I am?

Roof is leaking. The PUD rainplow driver is suing us for bajillions of dollars for the bump on his head. Rosemary has left me for Le Chateau du Chaudierre le Lek Tsillan. Another nine inches predicted for 40 more holiest days and 40 more holiest nights. All the sandbags have been swept away by the raging creeks and rivers. No more sandbags left anywhere and no more sandbagging anyways and anyhows.

I feel so good. I just love those recycled electrodes glued to my wrists and forehead while strapped to the bed somewhere and somehow?

Rainfully Yours,

Mobasher Zia & Rosemary
Rain Country Down West, USA